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September 19, 2022

We Picked Out the 23 Best Bachelor Party Destinations in the U.S.

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There are plenty of traditions tied to wedding culture in America, but for gentlemen across the nation, none are as coveted as the bachelor party. The practice actually traces back as early as the 5th century B.C., when ancient Spartans would hold a dinner before a man’s upcoming nuptials to toast his honor. Back then, researching the best bachelor party destinations before the big event wasn’t much of an issue. Today, it’s the key decision in a time-honored rite of passage marking the revelrous end of a man’s single years. 

Related: 50 Best Vacations in the U.S.—Ranked by Travel Experts

Bachelor parties provide the perfect excuse for an unforgettable getaway with the guys. These days, they come in all shapes and sizes, ranging from laid-back tropical escapes to over-the-top exploits that never sleep. Luckily, there’s no shortage of ideas for the perfect spot tailored to a groom’s personal preferences. Here, we’ve gathered 23 of the best bachelor party destinations—from those obvious hotspots to under-the-radar picks—for the ultimate pre-wedding celebration. 

23 Best Bachelor Party Destinations in America

Las Vegas, NV

Why go: Any best bachelor party destination lineup wouldn’t be right without leading off with the granddaddy of bachelor-party destinations. One of the world’s leading entertainment capitals, Las Vegas is the ultimate adult playground with a welcome mat of apt nicknames and slogans from “Sin City” to “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” that also remind you to proceed with healthy caution, too. Remember,  catchphrases aren’t always 100 percent accurate. Ranging from mild to wild (but definitely skewing toward the latter), Las Vegas is a wonderland of over-the-top indulgences consisting of opulent hotels, high-rolling casinos, rowdy pool parties, boisterous nightclubs, and hopefully nothing too regrettable at the end of a very memorable few days. 

Where to stay: If you want to avoid living out your own version of The Hangover, stay at the Wynn Las Vegas. One of the most revered properties on The Strip, it has become the go-to choice for bachelors hoping for a more refined celebration. The upscale hotel is home to some of the city’s finest dining experiences, like SW Steakhouse, and an 18-hole championship golf course.

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Myrtle Beach, SC

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Why go: With miles of white sand beaches, ample opportunity for water sports, and more than 90 golf courses, this South Carolina beach town is ready to party. For a bit of daytime excitement you and the crew can rip laps in a stock car at Myrtle Beach Speedway’s NASCAR experience. Shark Wake Park’s state-of-the-art cable system gives those keen on getting wet a shot at wakeboarding, knee boarding, water skiing, or foil boarding. When the sun starts to fade, head to Sea Captain’s House for fresh fish with a stunning ocean view, or Hook & Barrel for Lowcountry fare ala peel and eat shrimp. If you’re dying for a steak, Fire and Smoke is the spot. After dinner, head to the 8th Avenue Tiki Bar to cool off with a cocktail. If your squad is more into beer, a massive selection of sudsy craft treats on tap awaits at Black Drum Brewing.

Where to stay: Located about six miles from downtown, the Marriott Myrtle Beach Resort and Spa Grand Dunes is close enough to the party to rock out without much of a commute—while also being a bit removed to keep your beach digs relaxing. The resort is also close to one of the best golf courses in the state, the Roger Rulewich designed Grand Dunes. Plus there are multiple pools, indoor and out, as well as a spa for a post-golf or -wakeboarding massage. Rooms have all been recently updated with a clean, contemporary vibe. 

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Honolulu, HI

Why go: Want to feel like you’re worlds away without worrying about your passport? Book a flight to Waikiki, the vibrant beachfront getaway tucked away on Honolulu. Here, bachelor party attendees can take longboard lessons at one of the planet’s most famed surf spots, sip handcrafted concoctions in trendy cocktail lounges, and partake in a hula show right on Kuhio Beach. The sun-drenched spot ticks all the boxes and is sure to deliver a trip to remember.

Where to stay: For an exclusive experience, live the high life at ESPACIO THE JEWEL OF WAIKIKI. The recently-opened, ultra-luxe hotel has just nine residential-style suites, each covering an entire floor with up to three bedrooms, three-and-a-half bathrooms, balcony Jacuzzis, dry sauna, and a 24/7 butler service ready to accommodate virtually any request.

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Pebble Beach, CA

Why go: Tucked away on the shores of California’s Monterey Peninsula is Pebble Beach, one of the nation’s premier golfing destinations, with four world-renowned courses. Throw in five-star accommodations and an award-winning culinary scene, and it’s easy to see why this spectacular coastal escape is primed for the ultimate bachelor party. During the day, play a round or two on Pebble Beach Golf Links, commonly shortlisted as the number one public course in America. Then head to The Bench for new American cuisine, stiff cocktails, and unparalleled waterfront overlooks.

Where to stay: Pebble Beach’s most in-demand accommodation option can be found at Fairway One at the Lodge. The two newly debuted, four-bedroom cottages feature an immense living room with stacked-stone fireplaces, an open-concept kitchen, and outdoor terrace where the guys can enjoy a round of cigars.

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New Orleans, LA

Why go: The better question is, “Why wouldn’t you go?” New Orleans is one of the most soulful cities in the U.S. While the idea of a bachelor party in the Big Easy might strictly conjure images of drunken debauchery on Bourbon Street, the city is anything but one-dimensional. Known for its electrifying jazz scene and world-renowned restaurants, it’s also an outdoor adventure capital in disguise, offering Kayak Swamp Tours, SUP sessions on Bayou St. John and Lake Pontchartrain with NOLA Paddleboards, numerous fishing charters into the sprawling Gulf and neighboring marshes, and a convenient, choose-your-own-adventure bikeshare program (Blue Bikes) to ride through a town teeming with unique neighborhoods and over 200 parks. 

Where to stay: Even if you think you know New Orleans, a stay at Roami at The Brandywine will redefine your experience. Featuring an assortment of group-friendly, custom-furnished terrace and penthouse suites (ranging from two to six rooms) housed in a historic Warehouse District property, your sweet digs are just a short stroll to the lively French Quarter and come equipped with a state-of-the-art fitness center, 24-hour concierge, and rooftop pool.

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Telluride, CO

Why go: Telluride has built an esteemed reputation for its enviable array of activities, ranging from relaxing (e.g. dipping in the local hot springs) to extreme (heli-skiing). Think of it as Aspen’s low-key, cooler kid brother. Visiting the upscale ski destination is a must in the winter, but it’s also starting to gain steam in the warmer months, thanks to exploits like rock-climbing a Via Ferrata, biking the 570-acre Telluride Valley Floor, and kayaking along the San Miguel River.

Where to stay: Known as the crown jewel of Telluride, Madeline Hotel and Residences is the unparalleled choice for bachelor parties in search of a once-in-a-lifetime trip. The quintessential adventure retreat is part of the lavish Auberge Resorts Collection and features suites that measure up to 1,655 square feet. Their expert team can also arrange any heart-racing experience, from rafting through Colorado’s famed rapids to dogsledding through the snowy backcountry.

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San Francisco, CA

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Why go: From the Presidio to Candlestick Point, San Francisco remains one of the world’s most unique towns—and a fantastically fun destination for a bachelor party. Home to the Giants, 49ers, Golden State Warriors, and Valkyries, San Francisco can accommodate a great pro sports event for your group in nearly any season. Don’t get us started about the dining options in one of the nation’s top foodie towns. For slurping down shellfish, Hog Island Oyster Co. is a West Coast icon, as is the time warp known as The House of Prime Rib, where your crew can go HAM on massive hunks of meat. The city by the bay also boasts an excellent public golf course—TPC Harding Park—and features a wild number of dance clubs and concert venues, like 1015 Folsom or Rickshaw Stop. The next day, cross the iconic Golden Gate Bridge and hike off the hangover in style in the stunning Marin Headlands

Where to stay: The Line Hotel San Fransisco is centrally located at the corner of Turk and Market in the city’s mid-Market District. Union Square, SFMOMA, and Chinatown are all quick walks away as are a slew of restaurants and bars. The hotel embraces the city’s modern art heritage extending from common spaces into well-appointed rooms and suites, all of which feature cityscape views. You’ll want to explore the city’s insane food and bar scene on your trip, but pregame with a late afternoon drink at Rise Over Run on the hotel roof. 

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Austin, TX

Why go: Holidaymakers have long flocked to the Lone Star State capital for its live music scene, creative community, and epic nightlifeAustin manages to strike the ideal balance between big-ticket attractions and authentic small-town charm. Entertainment districts like Sixth Street (known as Dirty Sixth to locals) and Rainey Street are jam-packed with things to do, ranging from killer barbecue joints to world-class watering holes. Don’t miss staples like Banger’s Sausage House and Beer Garden, Deep Eddy Cabaret, and The White Horse.

Where to stay: Austin has become a mecca for cool and quirky hotels, and one of its best in this regard is the Kimpton Hotel Van Zandt, situated in the heart of the Rainey Street Historic District. The neighborhood is lined with houses that have been transformed into restaurants and bars, so every stop feels like a house party. Check out the hotel’s award-winning rooftop pool or catch a live performance at Geraldine’s.

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Chicago, IL

Why go: The Windy City offers a little bit of everything, which is exactly why guys have flocked here for years to throw the bachelor party of their dreams. Serious foodies will be in heaven as they eat their way through the West Loop. Don’t miss Bellemore, one of the city’s best restaurants, helmed by top toque Jimmy Papadopoulos. Drinking culture is also alive and well, with favorite spots including Lost Lake, The Aviary, and Sportsman’s Club. Or enjoy one of the city’s other countless delights, such as touring Wrigley Field, joining a Chicago architecture river cruise, or hanging out on the beaches of Lake Michigan.

Where to stay: The Acme Hotel is a solid choice situated in the River North neighborhood. Just blocks from the Magnificent Mile, it marries thoughtful design with high-tech touches and houses one of the city’s coolest bars, The Berkshire Room.

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Los Angeles, CA

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Why go: Whatever you and your groomsmen are into, it can be found in Los Angeles. Take a hike in Griffith Park for a wholesome Instagram. Bar hop and stroll the boardwalk in Venice. Crack up at the Comedy Store or Upright Citizens Brigade. Get to the Greek Theater or the Hollywood Bowl for outdoor music. If you’d rather sing your own song, head to Koreatown for karaoke. There’s even the Commerce Casino on the east side for those who want to dance with lady luck. Whatever the group jam dictates, L.A. is your oyster.

Where to stay: This is the central quandary when visiting Los Angeles, since getting around town can be maddening. The answer boils down to geographic desirability. You want to stay where you’re going to play. We like the Pendry West Hollywood for its proximity to most of West L.A.’s hot spots. Traffic dependent, it’s roughly 20-30 minutes from iconic attractions like the Getty Center, Dodger Stadium, or Rancho Park Golf Course. Fine dining in Beverly Hills is a stone’s throw away, as are a number of classic Hollywood bars and clubs. The hotel itself features a rooftop pool, a swanky social club, a spa, and the Wolfgang Puck restaurant, Merois. 

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Park City, UT

Why go: With world-class skiing, premium whiskey, and countless cultural festivals and events, it’s impossible to be bored in Park City. Although it’s best known as a winter wonderland, this picturesque town less than 45 minutes up the road from Salt Lake City offers tons to explore during any season. Go blue ribbon fly-fishing on the Provo, Green, or Weber rivers; hike through the region’s 400 miles of extensive trails; or get a bird’s eye view during an unforgettable hot air balloon excursion. After a day of action-packed adventure, guys can reward themselves with a whiskey-tasting experience at High West Distillery, one of the best in the U.S.

Where to stay: Experience the best of Park City with a visit to Montage Deer Valley. The luxurious resort provides unrivaled ski-in, ski-out access to one of the country’s premier ski destinations, as well as a collection of epic adventures known as Montage Expeditions. Tap the Montage Deer Valley Compass Sports team to coordinate intrepid bachelor party activities like mountain biking, archery lessons, or trekking.

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Bend, OR

Why go: For outdoor enthusiasts, Bend offers beautiful vistas paired with adrenaline-fueled adventures all year long—and more than two dozen breweries. Nestled along the Deschutes River and the Cascade Mountains, visitors can spend their days whitewater rafting, horseback riding, and exploring more than 900 acres of trails and hiking zones. For a winter escape, be sure to hit the slopes of aptly named Mt. Bachelor and visit the soon-to-debut Woodward Mountain Park.

Where to stay: Brasada Ranch is a rustic retreat that serves as the perfect basecamp for bachelors looking to experience the very best of Bend. Play a round of golf at Brasada Canyons, chill out in the new Cascade Adult Pool, or rent mountain bikes and pedal along the property’s stunning scenery.

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Richmond, RI

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Why go: The small town of Richmond is nestled against a Rhode Island forest and the Carolina Management Area, a quick half-hour drive inland from the beaches of Narragansett. While it may not seem like an obvious bachelor party destination, the town is home to the Northeast’s ultimate destination for outdoor sporting enthusiasts, The Preserve

The resort offers guests a chance to enjoy the New England wilderness from a luxury basecamp. Want to trail ride ATVs or put a Bentley Bentayga through its paces on a dedicated off-road track? This is the place. The resort and private club boasts 10 fly-fishing ponds, miles of hiking trails, an 18-hole, par 3 golf course, and grass and clay tennis courts as well as the USA’s longest indoor shooting range. There’s a 19-station sporting clays course with six throwers per site, and for those without a natural fear of heights, you can get the adrenaline pumping on a zipline. It’s all a quick drive from Narragansett, one of the coolest beach towns in America.

Where to stay: The Preserve offers a variety of accommodations from single rooms to fully furnished residences. The Hilltop Lodge is perfect for a group that enjoys individual privacy, but for a squad who wants a more communal feel, the newly opened Hobbit House is a singular experience. Imagined by The Preserve’s owner Paul Mihailides, the “home-age” to J. R. R. Tolkien’s Shire from the Lord of the Rings series sleeps over a dozen friends—who all have your back on one of life’s most interesting quests.

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Nashville, TN

Why go: Nashville is another beloved bachelor party city with a multitude of draws beyond the obvious ones. Of course, Music City caters first and foremost to serious music lovers, with legendary country-themed venues like the Grand Ole Opry, countless honky-tonks lining Broadway and beyond, and themed museums like the Country Music Hall of Fame and Johnny Cash Museum. But between bar crawls, celebrity chef-led restaurants, BBQ institutions with names like Peg Leg Porker and Bar-B-Cutie, and those adult-only hives if that’s your thing, Nashville branches out with plenty of other only-here bachelor party weekend draws.

Outdoor enthusiasts can tour the city on wheels with Green Fleet Bicycle Tours or raft the raging Ocoee River with Cherokee Rafting. Adrenaline junkies can hop into a stock car and test out the Nashville Superspeedway with NASCAR Racing Experience. Sports fans are in the home of the NFL’s Titans at Nissan Stadium, NHL’s Predators at Bridgestone Arena, Triple-A ball’s Nashville Sounds at First Tennessee Park, and MLS’s Nashville SC in Geodis Park—the largest soccer-specific stadium in the country. Don’t get us started on all the breweries and distilleries here, but if you haven’t yet notched off that mandatory Jack Daniel’s or George A. Dickel Distillery tour, it’s an easy drive to either Lynchburg or Talluhoma (or preferably both). Just be sure to sort out all of your reservations well in advance, since you’ll likely be sharing Nashville with numerous other visiting bachelor bash groups on any given weekend.

Where to stay: Kick things up a notch at the one-of-a-kind Noelle, a top boutique property housed in a swanky 13-floor building with 1930s Art Deco roots that’s as authentically Nashville as it gets. Outfitted with a range of spacious, custom-furnished guest rooms and suites, the hotel offers several on-site restaurants and bars, including the rooftop Rare Bird for warm-up cocktails with a view.

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Miami, FL

Why go: If amazing beaches and the steamiest nightlife venues in the country are more your speed, then Miami is a no-brainer. The red-hot metropolis offers a true slice of paradise, complete with never-ending coastlines (we’re looking at you, South Beach), swanky cocktail bars (such as the Broken Shaker), and noteworthy nightclubs (like WALL Lounge). But don’t overlook its dynamic arts scene. Discover colorful outdoor exhibits in Wynwood and captivating museums like the Pérez Art Museum Miami.

Where to stay: W South Beach has become a classic outpost for guys getting ready to tie the knot. Home to 408 W-branded residences, the most sought-after spaces are the newly redesigned Penthouse W Insider and the 3-bedroom Amplified E-Wow suites.

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Bowling Green, KY

Why go: Got a need for speed? Head to Bowling Green, home of the National Corvette Museum. Here, visitors can check out a collection of more than 80 variations of the classic American sports car and even get behind the wheel of a C7 Stingray Corvette to cruise down the three-mile race track. After, head to Mammoth Cave National Park to explore the longest cave system in the world. The city also boasts an awesome array of bars and restaurants, like Hickory & Oak and Boyce General Store, serving down-home Southern cuisine.

Where to stay: Kentucky Grand Hotel & Spa in downtown Bowling Green is packed with perks, like the Derby Piano Bar and in-room massages to relieve any pre-wedding stress. They also offer affordable penthouse suites spacious enough to fit all of the groomsmen.

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Reno and Lake Tahoe, NV

Why go: Those looking for a more budget-friendly alternative to Las Vegas can set their sites on Reno Tahoe. Bring the boys to this bustling city situated in the middle of breathtaking desert and nearby forested-lake landscapes. There’s something for everyone in Reno Tahoe, including active escapades like ascending the world’s tallest outdoor rock climbing wall at Basecamp, downing pints at the region’s 20 craft breweries, or indulging in phenomenal nightlife excursions including casinos, clubs, and concert venues.

Where to stay: Channel your inner high roller by booking a stay at Eldorado Hotel & Casino. Try to snag their 750-square-foot Players Spa Suite before enjoying all of the hotel’s amenities, including the Silver Legacy Poker Room, The Brew Brothers (named the best brewpub in America), and incredible live entertainment.

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Charleston, SC

Why go: Charleston is undeniably one of the most picturesque cities in North America. Here, horse-drawn carriages trot along cobblestone streets, restaurants rank among the nation’s best, and true Southern hospitality can be found in just about every crevice. On any given weekend, loads of bachelor and bachelorette parties can be found in the Holy City (nicknamed for its abundance of churches and cemeteries) congregating at some of the the tastiest seafood joints in the Carolinas, but the rest of the adventure here is all your own making. 

For a breezy orientation, rent a fleet of cruisers or e-bikes from Bilda Bike and roll through historic Charleston’s oak- and palmetto-flanked core before grabbing lunch at top seafood spot, 167 Raw. For an even fresher catch, hook up with Folly Beach-based Fly Right Charters and spend a day of vintage Lowcountry fishing with expert guide and angler Capt. John Irwin. Or explore Charleston’s famed marshes in a kayak with Charleston Outdoor Adventures. When it’s time to hit the fairways, you’re in the town that launched America’s first golf club back in 1786. Charleston has since spawned numerous spectacular courses—including the hallowed, Arthur Hills-designed Dunes West Golf & River Club.

Where to stay: Since it first opened its doors in 2015, The Spectator Hotel has racked an impressive collection of awards and accolades. The 41-room boutique hotel exudes a Great Gatsby-inspired aesthetic reminiscent of the Roaring ’20s. The dedicated team of personal butlers is a standout amenity, and cocktails served in The Bar are second to none.

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Brooklyn, NY

Where to go: Brooklyn might not seem like a big whoop for anyone living in the Big Apple, but it’s actually one seriously stacked bachelor-party destination. Brooklyn’s whimsical neighborhoods offer a microcosm of the greater New York City metropolitan area, chock-full of one-of-a-kind attractions to explore. Catch a live show (and probable hangover) in ever-trendy Williamsburg, sing karaoke in a seedy Bushwick dive, or eat your way through locally owned joints in Greenpoint. Sports fanatics can score tickets to a game at The Barclays Center. Art aficionados can appreciate 1.5 million masterpieces at the Brooklyn Museum. And entertainment junkies can make a nostalgic journey to Coney Island.

Where to stay: For a happening hotel in the heart of Brooklyn’s most sought-after neighborhood, reserve a room at The Hoxton, Williamsburg. Sitting cozy on Wythe Avenue, the 175-room hotel lives in the former Rosenwach water tank factory. Chic, industrial design touches are woven throughout and their inventive food and beverage options are top-notch. Plus their surprisingly friendly rates won’t break the bank.

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Portland, OR

Why go: Sitting on the fence between a sophisticated city-slicked celebration or outdoor adventure? Consider popping over to Portland, OR. The City of Roses is bursting at the seams with unique ways to honor the man of the hour. Progressive recreational cannabis laws, breathtaking natural wonders, friendly locals, and more breweries per capita than anywhere else in America all make the hipster haven worth a visit.

Where to stay: The Hotel Zags Portland is textbook Portland—effortlessly cool and a bit weird (in a good way). Ideally located in the city’s Fountain District, the property offers an oasis in the city center. Guests can check out the Gear Shed to play with gadgets like hoverboards and digital cameras, or hang out in the game room dubbed The Colosseum. After an evening on the town, unwind with a nightcap sitting around the courtyard fire pit.

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Emerald Coast, FL

Why go: While the Sunshine State is teeming with endless stretches of pristine oceanfront shores, none are as captivating as Florida’s Emerald Coast. Located in the Florida Panhandle, the relaxing region comprises Destin, Fort Walton Beach, and Okaloosa Island. Overflowing with aquatic adventures, guys can spend their days fishing in the Gulf of Mexico, kayaking in Choctawhatchee Bay, or scuba diving along artificial reefs, shipwrecks, and a limestone shelf that stretches 90 feet deep.

Where to stay: To be smack-dab in the middle of all the action, book a stay at Emerald Grande at HarborWalk Village. The sprawling waterfront resort offers four different vacation rental categories and is located in the heart of HarborWalk Village, hosting an impressive lineup of shops, restaurants, and bars that make for a perfect night out on the town.

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Bluffton, SC

Why go: For the quintessential Southern gentleman, consider planning a trip to Bluffton, SC. Dripping with charisma, this Lowcountry locale sits along the May River—just minutes from Hilton Head Island. Known for its postcard-worthy scenery, expect to find plenty of antebellum estates, towering oaks draped with moss, and lots of greenery. Yachting and fishing are popular pastimes, and golfers will want to spend some time on the 18-hole Jack Nicklaus Signature Course.

Where to stay: For a restorative retreat, don’t miss Montage Palmetto Bluff. Steeped in southern charm, the idyllic property is set on 20,000 acres of historic lands. Guys can test their aim at the Palmetto Bluff Shooting Club or saddle up for an equestrian experience on the 174-acre farm at Longfield Stables.

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Atlantic City, NJ

Why go: The East Coast’s answer to the non-stop revelry of Las Vegas, Atlantic City has been a top party destination and go-to choice for bachelor parties for generations. The famed resort city is the largest on the Jersey Shore, easily recognizable for its string of casinos, glitzy hotels, and nightclubs—all on an iconic boardwalk that stretches along the Atlantic Ocean. In addition to endless gambling pursuits, AC offers an ever-rotating lineup of musical performances, comedy acts, and magic shows (plus no shortage of strip clubs, if that’s your thing).

Where to stay: The Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa is one of the city’s most legendary properties, rolling a little bit of everything into one hedonistic venue. Dine at celebrity chef outposts like Bobby Flay Steak and Wolfgang Puck American Grille, catch The BURLESQUE Show’s jaw-dropping performances, or take advantage of the resort’s complimentary shuttle which can cart you to Brigantine Beach so you can soak up the sun.

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How to Plan a Successful Bachelor Party

Whether you or your best man is setting up the last hurrah, it’s a good idea to make sure everyone in your group is on the same page. It may be your party, but you want everyone to have a good, stress-free time. In other words, there needs to be advance consensus on vibe, cost, and the sort of hijinks you’re planning on getting into. Take the temperature of the folks you plan to invite before investing time or booking non-refundable airfare, rooms, and any on-site activities.

Just like your wedding accommodations, once you choose a destination check to see if the hotel or resort can offer a group rate. For some spots, it’s best to personally connect with the manager who will likely provide additional perks, amenities, and ideas for your specific group. For those who prefer to communicate digitally, our friends at The Knot have a site that can help bring down costs on a block of rooms.

Before the party is underway, nominate one person to keep track of expenses and how they’re shared. This can be done manually after each activity, meal, or bar tab arrives. Avoid all the constant tabulations by using an app like Splitwise to do the timely work and keep all the money talk from infringing on the fun.

Related: Best Golf Courses in All 50 States: Where to Tee Up in America

Why You Should Trust Me

I’m a longtime contributor to Men’s Journal, who has written extensively on some of the most bachelor party-friendly activities—including driving spectacular cars and, most recently, enjoying the 50 Best Golf Courses in All 50 States and the highly-anticipated new No. 10 course at Pinehurst. I’m also a bon vivant who has attended and helped plan more than my share of memorable bachelor parties, if slightly hazy at times. Bottom line, I’ve always brought the groom home (mostly unharmed) and to the altar on time—and in clean clothes. 

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